"Chick Logic"

"Chick-Logic is a misnomer, really, in the sense that it's really reverse-logic. The inherent principle behind chick-logic is this: Women do not think logically. They make decisions based on feelings and emotions. Chick-Logic is logic after the fact. Women make decisions and take actions based on what they're feeling...then, after the fact, they construct a logic-pattern which fits the way they felt or acted." - squirrels

Here's a few common examples:

1) Drunken Defense: Girl excuses her stupid, irresponsible and/or promiscuous behavior on alcohol.

"My god Jenny, did you really sleep with the whole football team last night?"
"Well...I was sooo drunk!"
"Even the waterboy?!"
"..."
"And...the coach!"
"I told you, I was sooo drunk!"

Of course in reality, she didn't sleep with all those guys because she was drunk, she got drunk so she could sleep with all those guys - guilt-free with an alibi! Being drunk was not an excuse, but a means. But with chick logic, girls will always put the cart before the horse.

Now, could you imagine her using the same excuse if she wrecked her car after a night of drinking?

"Ma'am, you were speeding in a school zone and ran over 3 kids before smashing into this bus - what do you have to say for yourself?"
"Sorry ociffer...but I was druuuunk!"

2) "Rape" Defense: Girl has morning regret about the intoxicated "activities" she willingly participated in the night before - and so claims it was forced or involuntary.

"I was raped by the lacrosse team!"
"But Jenny, didn't you invite the whole team into your dorm room alone that night to get drunk, smoke weed and have sex?"
"No, they raped me!"
"So, why did you invite them all over again 3 more times after that to repeat the experience?"
"I'm a GIRL dammit, why don't you beliieevvee meee???" *starts crying*

3) Fuzzy Math: Girl uses some creative math to rationalize her overspending habits.

"Hey honey, I got some new shoes at the mall today - you like 'em?"
"Uh, aren't you broke?"
"Well, it was a 10% off sale, so actually I SAVED money by buying these!"

4) Blatant Self-Contradictions: Girl says one thing, but does another...and will attempt to use chick logic to justify her hypocrisy if called on it.

"I feel fat!"
"So...why are you eating all this lard?"
"Um, it's low-carb lard...and I love it!"